I Scream, You Scream

This is a long story, but not nearly as long as if you had to live it.

I saw an ad on craigslist that an ice cream shop in my neighborhood was hiring, and that they're looking for people who live nearby because there's no good places to park around their shop.

Come by between 6pm and 9pm, the ad said, and ask to talk to Jody.

So I went by between 6 and 9. The shop is really just a counter in sort of an outdoor food court. There was one woman working there, probably in her 50s with long white hair pulled back in a ponytail. Must be Jody, I thought.

ME
Hi, I'm looking for Jody?

JODY
That's me.

She stares at me like she has no idea what I might be there for, like people come and ask for her by name for all sorts of things every day.

ME
I wanted to apply for a job.

JODY
Oh, great!

She stares at me again. Her eyes seem to say, So apply already!

ME
Do you have like an application to fill out...?

JODY
Well, who are you? Tell me about yourself.

Oh, great. She wanted me to just verbally pitch myself. I told her my name and where I live and talked about my work experience. I should have told her I worked at Baskin Robbins for eight years because she was obviously not checking any references.

Jody handed me a tiny scrap of paper to write my name and phone number on.

JODY
Okay great, great. Well... let me see... what else should I ask you? Do you smoke?

ME
Nope. I don't smoke.

JODY
You can work weekends?

ME
I can.

JODY
So you can walk to work... Do you own rain gear in case it's raining?

ME
I do.

JODY
Okay, well, you'll need to meet my father. He's eighty-eight. His name is Bob. He'll be here tomorrow from 8 to 4. Can you come back then?

Fast forward to the next day. I returned to meet Bob.

ME
Hi, I'm looking for Bob?

BOB
Oh, yes. Jody said you'd be coming in. So tell me about yourself.

I repeated my spiel for him.

BOB
All right. Well, you'll need to meet with Jody again, but she won't be here for another half an hour. Can you come back in 30 minutes?

30 minutes later...

JODY
Hey. So did you meet my father?

ME
I did.

JODY
How was that? Did he seem encouraging?

ME
Uh... yeah it went well. He said I should meet with you again?

JODY
Oh, well, I have to work right now. I'm covering for my father while he has his lunch break.

There was literally not a customer to be seen. It was a cold, gray day. I guarantee no one wanted any ice cream.

JODY
Can you come back in 30 minutes?

ME
I actually have to run. (I had another interview to get to.) I could come back later tonight? Or tomorrow?

JODY
I'll be here tonight from 4 to 9.

ME
Ok, so I should come back after 4?

JODY
You could do that...

I know I could do that, I wanted to say. Should I? Will there be any point to me coming back?!

ME
Okay, I'll be back in a few hours.

I was being forced to show WAY more interest in this job than I actually had. After 4...

JODY
Oh, hey, great! You're back. Um... yeah, so, me and my father actually need to meet with you together, but he's not here right now. I'll tell you what, I'll give you a call and we can figure out a time for the three of us to meet.

I did not expect to ever hear from her. I was pretty sure she no longer had the receipt with my phone number written on it. But the next day I was surprised by a call from Jody herself.

JODY
Hey, sorry about yesterday. Things were kind of crazy.

At least she acknowledged that the situation was not normal.

JODY
Would you be available to meet with me and my father tomorrow morning?

ME
Yes, my schedule is wide open tomorrow morning.

JODY
Okay, well, I don't know if I'm available. How about I call you tomorrow morning and we can figure out a time to meet?

That was four days ago. I haven't heard from her since.

But I don't mind because today I received an awesome job offer -- more on that later. So Jody and Bob can take their ice cream stand and shove it.