Still Living: "Flowers are so inconsistent!"

This post has some adult content, so you may want to put the kids to bed before reading.

You'll recall that I've been trying to find work as a film extra. Unsuccessfully.

Sometimes I see posts on craigslist looking for extras. I never wanted to respond to these ads because they usually don't have any details about the gig, and that's suspicious.

But one day I decided to just see. The ad pretty much only had the date of the shoot, and asked you to send your phone number and a non-professional photo. I sent.

Here's the response I got:

Thank you for your submission! Before we go any further, let me tell you: we shoot both mainstream and adult entertainment. Our adult work offers competitive rates at same-day pay. Would you be interested in doing extra work on an adult shoot? You would not be asked to be involved, but it would help if the subject matter doesn't make you uncomfortable. Let me know, I look forward to hearing from you!

Rose

So that explained the lack of details in the ad, but raised a whole new set of questions. Questions like: why do they need extras for porn? Are there a lot of bustling marketplace scenes in porn? Courtroom scenes? Family reunions?

I thought long and hard about my response to Rose. My gut reaction was a resounding no. But then I thought about how fun it would be for the blog. The things I do for you, beloved readers.

Although I was nervous about someone I know spotting me in the background of a threeway at the airport, I decided to tell Rose I would be comfortable doing extra work for an adult shoot.

This was Rose's response:

Awesome! What experience do you have / who have you shot for and what would be your limitations on-camera? Sex, handjobs, blowjobs, solo/mutual masturbation, threesomes, anal, gay sex?

In order to be considered, please submit your full legal name and age along with location, (city and state is all I need!), and your contact info (phone and email).

Also, AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT: Would you prefer to be in a gay or straight scene?

Please send me one current full-body nude photo, holding today's date on a post-it or piece of paper!

Also, what tattoos and piercings do you have, if any?

Rose

First of all Rose, you're a big fat liar. What happened to "You would not be asked to be involved"?

No no no, Rose. Your e-mail is making me blush, and I think that disqualifies me for this type of work. This humorous experiment suddenly got way too real. And scary.

Thus ends my correspondence with Rose, and my brief foray into the world of adult entertainment.