Post Post: What Is This Junk?

I'm trying out a new feature for the blog. Post Posts are blog posts about things I get in the mail.

I get lots of mail now that I'm a popular blogger with 11 followers (oh yes). Let's look at some of the fan mail I've received this week.

Roommate and I have been talking about ways to make friends in our new neighborhood. One idea we had was that someone in our building should throw raucous parties and invite us as a courtesy and so that we don't get mad and call the cops. And then when we go to the party, we'll charm everyone with our winning personalities.

Unfortunately, we have no control over this scheme, and nobody in the building is stepping up.

We had just about given up on this plan, when we received this exclusive invite in the mail:

That's right. Our whole city is having a raucous party. Presumably we were only invited so that we wouldn't get mad when they close all our streets and public properties.

I also recently received this packet of coupons:

As we all know, getting coupons is exactly the same as getting a wad of cash in your mailbox. So I'm a billionaire.

As an added bonus, Money Mailer included some money-saving tips:

Suze Orman better watch her back.