Freeze and the World Laughs with You

Last week I attended my first staff meeting at the new assisted living job. It was actually fun. Everyone was joking, having a good time, and the Big Boss was trying to rein us in and keep the meeting on track.

Part of the meeting was one of the nurses was giving us a first aid refresher. She was talking about what to do if someone is bleeding (protip: help them). At this point, the maintenance guy piped in, "Don't get any blood on the carpets!"

In the same dry tone as her first aid lecture, the nurse deadpans to us, "Yes, the carpets are the most important thing."

So we all chuckled at that, except for the Big Boss who held out her hands and announced over the laughter: "No, no it's not. That's not true."

But I don't want you to think Big Boss is a wet blanket. In fact, She cracked her own little joke later in the meeting. The topic at hand was preventing "elopement", which just means residents wandering away from the building. It doesn't mean residents running off to get married, but usually when we talk about it I pretend that it does in my mind. It's funnier that way.

To drive the point home, Big Boss told us about an incident at another facility where a man wandered away from their Alzheimer's unit. He was found hours later in the freezer. She started to move on, but of course we were all on the edges of our seats. "Well what happened?" my coworkers demanded. "Was he dead?"

A mischievous smile spread across Big Boss's face. "I believe he had -- frostbite!"

I don't really understand how that's a joke, but she delivered it like "frostbite" was the punchline. Like she was waiting for a drummer to give her a rimshot.

But the weirdest part is it brought the house down. She got the biggest laugh of the afternoon.